Exhausted by the shadows of Samsara, the perpetual delusions of life. I strive for temporary relief. When I get this reprieve I want it to stay forever, yet when confronted with the possibility of making that state a reality, my mind SNAPS back to the sobering reality that a continual state of any sensation is not only improbable, but impossible and not reality, non-natural, non-existent. Yet we all strive for what feels like a final resting place. There IS a final position where a motionless and continuous peace in mind exists. Right View for starters (speaking of starters, how can I ever say a fact when thorough time has not been committed to it?
May 30th 2012
I try so hard to keep up the facade. I really do put a lot of effort into making sure my story has a running script. I love to stop and look around at people tapping into their individual short story. I say short because of the transitory nature of thought.
Do we view the world in the same was as when we were children? Most certainly somewhat similar, I mean, it was still US back then. It becomes more obvious, this Karma. It is much easier to see and awaken to this Law when examining ourselves over a life time. Also it is said working with the self is far more fluid when acceptance reigns over constant judgment and desire for things to be different. Since change is omnipresent there is no need to attempt at forcing it to happen. One of the greatest gifts I was told by a professor was the phrase “planned happenstance”. It has opened my view and scope to what is really possible in my mundane life.
Take a step out from the script to objectively view life. Do not be so fixed and rigid in your views. This false safety only makes you more reliant on the safety, thus more perpetually fearful. So instead, loosen the grip, stop the grasping, and flow with what is in front, side-by-side, and all around you. WHY DO WE WANT TO FIXATE ON SOMETHING THAT WILL ONLY CONTINUE OUR RELIANCE ON FALSE REFUGES?
May 29th 2012
It has now registered. The connection between my thoughts and the outside world is clear. I am beginning to see that even my mere thoughts have an impact on other people. The depths of affect are amazing yet mundane. Complex to realize, but there is no other way to things. Evident on a one to one basis, now on a societal level, that is worth trying. Perhaps what is meant when it is said thoughts have an impact on everything is that they are a creation of organic nature and just as the sun helps the seeds grow so to do thoughts interact and affect all things around it. This makes sense when looking at the dependent nature of all things. Nothing exists in a vacuum or by itself. All things are contingent on other things happening. Realizing or awakening to how every part of the human life relates a facet of life worth deeply investigating. This is an utmost important goal for us humans. The word responsibility comes to mind because once the view of interdependence is taken and realized there is no turning back. It is now too obvious to ignore how every little act has a deep and necessary connection to one and everything else.
May 24th 2012
Solitude lends its hand towards greater interdependence.
This world is filled with ironies and paradoxes.
Embrace them all and reap the results of clear vision.
May 23 2012
To see the similarities between nature and myself I must look at the differences too. Similarities between implies there are two to consider, yet while the dualistic nature of this is apparent the subtlety of our much more real nature of not two and not one is the clear vision we must begin to see, although it is not enough to have the knowledge but what we do with it that matters. Nature and mind are not one or two as One is only in contrast to other. It is so hard to see this reality, like how is my neurotic mind the same as that tree over there? The tree doesn’t have compulsive thoughts. Perhaps I need to expand my understanding of mind. Perhaps that is the common ground. I’ve read that Mind is everything, does this mean that everything is just a perception of mind? I doubt it because that limits the natural world/universe to the confines of a perception, one view point of a human’s mind. But it is much larger than that, the potentialities are infinite and bounding. So maybe Mind can be seen in correlation to the ever changing nature of life. Just as our thoughts jump from here to there in a moment.
May 20th 2012
I strive for unity when it is already there. Wake up your eyes and accept what is happening. Too much of living is being focused on what isn’t. Drop that rabbit hole and pick up the Unitarian view that all life holds the same principle, that whatever comes into our human view point is dharma, a lesson, no matter what kind, it all has an essence we must begin to see, I must begin to see. How many more self-questions and wake up calls will I allow myself before I start living what I write?! There is no one waiting for me, no fear to be had except the one I create. Loosen your lip, widen your eye, and be clear about what you see. I create my Karma for tomorrow, today. Stop passing judgment on yourself. Yes I don’t know what clear-view looks like, but I certainly believe it to be the way. Peace.
May 16th 2012
I attempt to sit, reflect, and analyze life. This is my “forward motion”. The equally opposing force is the mystery to me. If our Nature is to be free of mental affliction (attachment), then why is the process of realizing this truth feel like a burdening weight sledging behind me every step of the way? Every second of the day feels like I am re-training my wandering mind. Something arises in day-to-day life and putting my practice to work becomes a chore.
Upon reflection it feels silly to be annoyed at others. What purpose does it serve? When I want to say “shut up and get away from me!” I could be saying “wake up and approach your problem with a different perspective”. I feel rushed, pressured and in haste when I do the former. So how do I begin to change my own perspective when I’m annoyed at others? I want to change my chemical make up in my brain, which will change my body, then mind.
The Narrative
The story is solid, at first. It is told and retold countless times. Revised to reflect the desired. Based upon fiction and fear it swells to our hearts content. We believe therefore we stoke the fire. We pour the mortar, lay it thick with a confidence to not be undone.
But we must break down the narrative. For it is with the undoing of what we have done do we see the woven connections between fact and the carefully crafted fiction. It is a tight story, air tight, however what is done can be undone, in our minds. What are you telling yourself and how much of it is universally true? Or, are you telling and retelling the same story to hold up the illusion? And what for?
Intuition’s Folly
Fervent effort gets us places and that is a fact. Original American values were founded on hard work and there is an intellectually meditative honor in that. Creating something out of nothing is an American dream of ours, which exudes a hopeful wonder. A tenacious appetite for “furtherdom” innately drives our doings and has the capabilities of insatiability. We can rejoice in our efforts and that is fine. But what about our instinctual gut driven pathfinder?
We strive for an excellence which advocates for an A-line path. But what about the other paths to arrive at the same or similar destination. I’m talking about our intuition. Not so straight laced it seems but is more often faithfully leading us into a direction which suits us best. Is it too good to be true to enjoy our work, our lives? What story are we manifesting and following?
For once we shall feel the freedom and sincerity of the Gut. Revel in the fact that a terrifying razor’s edge is a line worth walking. Jump the cliff into an ocean of possibility while maintaining complete and utter sharp attention on what is happening at all times. Take the chance, unless dying a death of unlived moments is your bag.
Even The Slightest
Life’s opportunities sometimes blare. The ease at which a chance reveals its mask can slip into our awareness without so much as an unintentional blink. How light and effortless. We firmly grasp it as an inalienable right to our humanity. We might not ever know the work involved that brought about that chance opportunity.
When life’s inevitable happenings flow in, the blare of opportunity retreats into a remote corner of our selective memory yet staying within sight, perhaps as a ray of sun cuts through a fog laden field. The once minority becomes the majority and life feels heavy. The work load of happiness piles high on our desks. “I must go on” we think. At this point the chance of an opportunity is beginning to hibernate, or, so we think.
It is when the clouds froth and begin to suffocate our lives and the problems stack in multiplicity that we must hold our daggers high face our torches forward and plunge head first into the unknown abyss that is our search for happiness. Experience is the joy of our switchback lives.
